thoughts

one of my favourite clients (MFC for short from now on) came into the salon the other day and through the course of her appointment asked me what i was doing on the weekend. i gave my standard, no lie, response. 'nothing. i'm being boring. how about you?' this nice deflection usually means a. i don't have to talk about myself and b. i can get the client talking about themselves. usually they love doing that. Unfortunately MFC didn't want to talk about herself this day. she said 'kate, i am old and can afford to stay home and be boring, i have lots of memories to keep me going. you? you need to go out and be making memories. make memories for when you're old'. i never thought that staying home and doing nothing was actually depriving me of experiences and stories when i grow old. hopefully stories i can tell my children or grandchildren, or if that never happens for me, my nieces and nephews. so it got me thinking about what creates memories for me that hearten me and i will always cherish and hopefully appreciate.

1. the hot wet salty breeze that hugs my parents home on a summer day
2. the smell of sunscreen and hot concrete being splashed by pool water
3. the fresh, cool feeling that comes from a long shower
4. warm, fat rain drops that bounce on the muddy grass and trickle down your back when you walk through it
5. the joyful meowing of my cat when she hears my car in the driveway
6. the smell of fresh basil and rosemary and oregano in the planter pots in my kitchen as the breeze catches their leaves
7. the smell of roccoco on clean skin when pat's trying to impress me
8. the feel of cool clean sheets and newly vaccuumed carpet
9. cold seafood coupled with colder wine and good company
10. the soft cooing of music in the player whilst lying on the balcony doing nothing.
11. cocooned in a movie theatre by myself watching a movie i am going to cry at.

and i realised that most of these things are enjoyed by me on my own, or with very little input of others. i don't know if this is just who i am, or if perhaps it is a coping mechanism to deal with the occasional melancholy feeling that comes from self imposed loneliness.

12. floating on a pool noodle with the sun on my cheeks and the chatter of a good friend beside me.
13. laughing with patrick at lily being an eccentric.
14. impromptu visits to restaurants and movies
15. bbq's in a park in the evenings with good friends
16. waking up with a strong pair of arms around me and a kitten curled up at my head

I found a couple that definately needed others which makes me feel great.

I will work on this. i will try and create some memories of recent times and not let my anxiety well up on me too much. i'll definately stop trying to use my anxiety as a crutch and an excuse not to do things.

i'll keep you posted.

Update for 2009!!

So i promised my grandfather that I'd update my blog. Sorry Fa!! A lot has happened to me and mine since my last post...September 2008! wow. its been a while. i think my life has gotten away from me, i promise myself i'll do things, i'll update blogs, i'll see people, i'll go out when in truth I just seem to work, come home, wake up, go to work. its a bit of a cycle since i started my hairdressing apprenticeship. I realise now as i write, my life is so far off course to what i thought i'd be doing now when i made my last post. i thought i'd be working with makeup, making use of my course, paying my parents back in large quantities and basically being a grown up!! at present i am (still!) studying, this time its my hairdressing apprenticeship, i am almost 6 months in, and its going pretty slow... 3 years it'll be in total. I am actually really enjoying it, its challenging, when its not boring which it can be at times, it also keeps me from being too lonely when pat's not home. he's away 9 days on, 6 days off now, he's studying and i'm so glad that he seems to be enjoying it. Anyway,, enough whinging yeah! i have nothing really to complain about, just getting back into the swing of the blog.... I have my gorgeous kitten Lily to keep me company, and she's very good at that.

We are getting a kitten!

Hellooooo everyone! 

Meet Delilah! She is a gorgeous little devon rex kitten from a cattery in the Gold Coast called Jarlyn. Pat goes to pick her up on Friday! I'm really jealous because I wish I was there to take her home with us! But its ok, I'm in Newcastle, working for a place called Glamour Shots.....enough said! I'll be home soon and playing with Delilah and giving her hugs! So anyways I'll be back in Brissy on Monday and then Pat leaves on Tuesday which is sad but its life! He'll be back a week later and I have Delilah to keep me company now! I just realised i have used a lot of exclamation points! wow! haha! ok enough now and back to work....

Thursday is now D-Day

Ok so my meeting for Tuesday is now on tomorrow instead, i'm nervous. This isn't a job interview so much of a 'what can you do' meeting. I desperately want something to come of this, even if its a 'good good you're on the right track' you know? In true interview style I have a big, red, angry Mt Everest erupting just above my lip. I never get spots anymore! why now, you stupid interview Gods who hate me??? Oh well, guess i'll just have to do my best at covering it up. do you think i could make a whole prosthetic face that i can pull out for occasions such as this? just go to my interviews as a totally different person?? maybe thats something to consider! then if it goes bad i could reinterview as myself again! Oh and i saw mum and dad on the TV today at the Olympics, nothing but their big honking heads on the screen just behind the swimmers at the cube. Pretty cool huh! Feeling pretty jealous right about now!

I'm Home

Ok so I'm home again! its very weird! being home with pat is great but career wise I'm feeling a little frightened! Its so funny to think you're going to finish your study and walk into a job, because the reality is that it never happens, of course it doesn't stop you from thinking that way! I've got a couple of little things lined up and at least two meetings so lets cross our fingers shall we???!!! I've uploaded some of my portfolio here in my album. I am currently sending it to be printed in time for a meeting I have on Tuesday. Wish me luck!

Only Two Weeks to Go then NO SCHOOL! :(

I am feeling very conflicted! I have only two weeks of school left to go!I am holidaying after that but the time has flown, the pace of life is so busy and after being so tired my eyes are falling out of my head, i'm not sure that i want to leave! Obviously i want to come home and see everyone, see the new apartment and be in a climate that isn't smoggy, but i am feeling like maybe i want to stay. Maybe everyone should just move over here. I don't know!!!! I know it will get harder for me the closer it comes to going home, and even more so when mum and pat are here, because then i will only need the rest of my family over here and i'd be right! god its funny the way people's minds work isn't it? why do i want to stay? i can't even work if i stay here! its crazy crazy crazy! Maybe its just that i'm comfortable here again! missing everyone and i'll write again soon. 

p.s go to the album and see my monster!

Day Off Tomorrow! Weeee!

ok so i have a bit of insomnia. I've taken a sleeping tablet but still cannot sleep. luckily i have a day off tomorrow, its a public holiday here called Memorial Day, i think its like our ANZAC Day. Just got off the phone to Uncle B and Phoenix and Kaelan, it is really good to chat to people from home, and the kids make me smile just by hearing their voices so it was a good pick me up! Today i went for a walk and then went to the gym, i must have been feeling energetic. This backfired at about 5pm this afternoon when i decided i did not want to go out drinking as i was absolutely stuffed....note to self, drink first then exercise....wait that didn't really come out right. i meant exercise when i am not going to go out to avoid the 'i'm too tired' excuse....one i seem to be pulling too regularly. I'm not really a club girl, i did try for a while there but nah, i find my own company and that of my computer alot more stimulating than going to a club where you can't hear a word anyone is saying, only to be ignored by half the group you went with because they are all trying to hook up! Puhlease! i'd rather stay home, and live through their experiences when they retell the next day! Plus i get the bored look on my face in the club that people think i put on to make myself seem more interesting, but really, i'm just bored :) i think i might go to the movies tomorrow, then maybe go for a quiet margarita with some girls from school.....is there ever such a thing as a quiet margarita?? I'm not even sure that i can drink tomorrow if it is like ANZAC day.....Anyway peace out peeps, i'll try and post something less rambling and nothing-like another day.....lack of sleep is melting my brain....